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Wednesday, June 17, 2020, 18:27

A few years ago a friend caught in addiction shared a key insight to success in breaking the addiction.  He noted that it was vitally important to break from old friends and old places, or to phrase it in his own words, “new play mates and new playgrounds.”  What my friend was actually citing was the Biblical principle that the influence of our peers has a profound affect on our personal growth and development.  The Bible repeats this principle numerous times, but for the purposes of this moment, a look at just one passage will suffice.

 
The book of proverbs contains the writings of Solomon, who was once purported to be the wisest man who ever lived.  A proverb is a short pithy saying that communicates a life principle that is usually, but not categorically true.  This means that while there are exceptions to these life rules, that more often than not, they hold true.  Regarding the company we keep, Proverbs 13:20 speaks volumes; “He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.”  Restated, we reap the rewards of the peers we choose to associate with.  If we spend our time with wise people, then we increase in wisdom all the more.  Likewise, if we spend our time with foolish people, then we tend to increase in foolish trends.  This is a general principle from the Bible for successful living.


So, how does wisdom or foolishness manifest itself in our lives?  I believe that there are three outlets of wise or foolish behavior. First, behavior manifests in our thoughts.  Decision making, for example bears out the possession of wise or foolish thinking. But not only that, the thoughts that we have…topics we dwell on often reveal the company that we are keeping.  Second, behavior manifests in our words.  Words are powerful, and while intangible, are not without substance.  The Bible reveals the power of God’s words, in that He spoke and the universe was created.  Likewise, the New Testament describes the words of men as the spark that starts a fire and the rudder that directs a ship.  When words are used in a wise way, they start good fires; fires of motivation, passion, inspiration, meaning, transformation, and the likes of these.  However, foolish words lead to destruction, hurts, destruction, character assassination, bad advice, and the like.  Finally, behavior manifests itself in the activities of our flesh.  The activities in which we engage are often determined by the presence of absence of wisdom and foolishness.  When people do foolish things, it reveals foolishness in the heart, and likewise, when people do wise things, it reveals wisdom in the heart.

 
Recognize also that the company we keep in this modern age goes far beyond the real flesh and blood friends that we share our time with.  Today, digital friends are present to influence us in the form of television shows, internet communications, facebook friends, the movies we watch, and music lyrics, just to name a few.  Ask yourself this question: If you would never hang out with a friend who would encourage you to be unfaithful to your spouse, then why would you watch a television show, such as Desperate Housewives, that encourages such behavior?  Likewise, if you believe that sexual intimacy is reserved for the marriage relationship, then why would you watch something that demonstrates a lower moral position and encourages premarital relations?  You would never hang out with people, at least for long, whose language was foul and offensive, but do you pay good money to rent movies where the language is foul and offensive?  May I suggest that whether the influence is a personal friend or a digital friend, that either way, wise or foolish ideas can  become uploaded data to our minds…and once it is on your mind, you shouldn’t be surprised when it exits your mouth or manifests in your flesh.  One writer succinctly stated, if you ever get it on your mind, it won’t be long until it is on your hands.  Be careful who your friends are, even if they aren’t real.  Unreal friends can have a very real influence on your behavior.


In closing, let me state categorically that the people we are around are not the exclusive importers of wisdom or foolishness in our lives, but they are a significant factor in personal development.  Certainly, wisdom is attained through prayer and meditation, reading the Bible and other worthy books, sitting under the teaching of wise men, and things like these.  But we must acknowledge the power of the group upon us.  The group influences us to stay or go, to act or not, to risk for a worthy cause or on pure silliness, to live with high morals or no morals, to practice integrity or to compromise rights for sordid gain.  So be careful to choose wisely those persons that you call your friends.  Be sure that the persons present in that group are the kind of people that you want to become as you grow into the person that you, and God, want you to become.


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Joel Dover is an affiliate pastor of the Calvary Chapel Association and adheres to the statement of faith of the CCA. Lern more about the CCA here.